Identifying Chaos, Changing Narratives, Rising Free

I’ve spent a lifetime unlearning the patterns I was born into—and learning to recognize the ones others overlook. Raised in a world where love was conditional and control was currency, I grew up carrying the weight of expectations, including caring for a twin who mirrored the very dysfunction I fought against.

It wasn’t until adulthood that I discovered I’m autistic, with ADHD layered on top—a diagnosis that reframed my view of myself. Autism is my superpower: I see patterns, connections, and meaning where others might see only chaos. It’s what allowed me to break cycles from my past and create a life on my terms.

This space is where I reflect on the chaos I’ve weathered, the strength I’ve discovered, and the calm I’ve found on the other side. You don’t have to follow the path laid out for you. You can rewrite the story—and rise above the waves.

— Jay Mc

Latest Posts

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  • They say daughters date their fathers

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  • A Letter To The Present Me

    Here you are. Take a moment and breathe that in—here you are. After everything you’ve carried, after every impossible choice, every silent battle, you’ve arrived at this version of you. It’s not perfect, and it doesn’t have to be. You’re… Continue reading

  • The Architecture of Quiet

    Some lives are painted in bold, sweeping strokes that demand attention. But mine? It’s written in the spaces in between—in the patterns and connections most people miss. From the start, I saw the world not as it wanted to be… Continue reading

  • What Silence Holds

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  • The Mind That Walks Through Walls

    Most people talk with their ears. I listen with my whole body. It’s not a choice—it just happens. The moment someone begins to speak, my brain kicks on like an old reel-to-reel projector, humming to life and casting their words… Continue reading

  • The Calculated Pause

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  • Dear Little Me

    There you are. I see you, sitting quietly in that small, unspoken moment—watching, feeling, absorbing. Your eyes hold so much, piecing together the world around you in a way that only you can. You don’t have the words yet, but… Continue reading

  • The Quiet Algorithm

    In the security industry, where echoes of tradition and conformity are often deafening, my journey stands as a testament to the power of resilience, strategic innovation, and a touch of rebellion against the status quo. Growing up in a home… Continue reading

  • Autistically Attuned

    What’s wild to me is that I’m autistic. Imagine that. It took me nearly four decades to get the words for something I had always known but could never quite name. And now, with that knowledge in hand, everything clicks… Continue reading